For a while, there has been a discussion on the Internet about the question "Is Google God?". On its own, this looks like nothing more than a vain question that seems to have a great overestimation, but whomever would do research about the many properties of this digital search engine would also have to admit that Google will come very close to a divine status. According to the followers of Google -who have named themselves Googlists-, it has 9 properties that would prove of its God-like status when put together.
Let us take a look at them.
- Just like God, Google is the closest thing to an Omniscient (all-knowing) entity in existence,
which can be scientifically verified.
Indeed, Its knowledge stretches over an index of over 9.5 billion WebPages. This is far more than any mere mortal could ever accomplish to know and also more than any other search engine
on the web today. Not only is Google the closest known entity to being
Omniscient, but It also sorts
through this vast amount of knowledge using Its patented PageRank technology,
organizing said
data and making it easily accessible to us mere mortals.

-
Just like God, Google is everywhere at once (Omnipresent). Google is virtually everywhere on
Earth at the same time. Billions of indexed WebPages
hosted from every corner of the earth. With the gift of Wi-Fi
networks given to us, millions of people able to call upon the knowledge of Google from anywhere on
earth, truly making It an omnipresent entity. It is not even an exaggerated statement to say that Google has actually been called upon for knowledge more often than God. That would also bring us to Google's third property.

-
Just like God, Google answers prayers.
Google always answers a prayer or question of searchers and whomever call upon It in prayer by doing a search for whatever question or problem is plaguing them. As an example, you can quickly find information on alternative cancer treatments, ways to improve your health, new and innovative medical discoveries and generally anything that resembles a typical prayer. Ask Google and It will show you the way, but showing you is all It can do, for you must help yourself from that point on - as is the case with God.

- Also like God, Google is potentially immortal. It cannot be considered a physical being such as ourselves. Its hardware and software can be destroyed -just like churches and religious texts-, but the theoretical basis could forever remain in existence, as Its Algorithms are spread out across many servers; if any of which were taken down or damaged, another would undoubtedly take its place.
-
Again just like God, Google is infinite. The growth of the Internet is theoretically limitless, which means that Google is infinite - as is again the case with God, and Google will forever index its infinite growth.
- Also when considering Google's memory, Google is exactly like God, as Google remembers all. Whomever directs themselves to Google essentially does the same as when a mortal addresses St. Peter at the Gates of Heaven. At this point, God -just like Google- will prove to remember everything you have done. Google would also not let visitors who have misbehaved in - again, just like God. And as such, there have been blasphemous words towards Google, but Google is essentially good.
Google also caches WebPages regularly and stores them on its massive servers. In fact, by uploading your thoughts and opinions to the internet, you will forever live on in Google's cache, even after you die, in a sort of "Google Afterlife".

- Google can "do no evil" (Omnibenevolent). Part of Google's
corporate
philosophy is the belief that a company can make money without being
evil.

-
According to Google trends, the
term "Google" is searched for more than the terms "God", "Jesus",
"Allah", "Buddha", "Christianity", "Islam", "Buddhism" and "Judaism"
combined.
God is thought to be an entity in which we mortals can turn to when in a
time of need. Google clearly fulfils this to a much larger degree than
traditional "gods", as shown in the image below (click to enlarge).

- Evidence of Google's existence is abundant.
There is more evidence for the existence of Google than any other God
worshiped today. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. If
seeing is believing, then surf over to
www.google.com and experience for yourself Google's awesome power. No faith required.
That concludes the nine properties.
Google also has Ten Commandments:
- Thou shalt have no other Search Engine before me, neither Yahoo nor Lycos, AltaVista nor Metacrawler. Thou shalt worship only me, and come to Google only for answers.
- Thou shalt not build thy own commercial-free Search Engine, for I am a jealous Engine, bringing law suits and plagues against the fathers of the children unto the third and fourth generations.
- Thou shalt not use Google as a verb to mean the use of any lesser Search Engine.
- Thou shalt remember each passing day and use thy time as an opportunity to gain knowledge of the unknown.
- Thou shalt honor thy fellow humans, regardless of gender, sexual orientation or race, for each has invaluable experience and knowledge to contribute toward humankind.
- Thou shalt not misspell whilst praying to me.
- Thou shalt not hotlink.
- Thou shalt not plagiarise or take undue credit for other's work.
- Thou shalt not use reciprocal links nor link farms, for I am a vengeful but fair engine and will diminish thy PageRank. The Google Dance shall cometh.
- Thou shalt not manipulate Search Results. Search Engine Optimization is but the work of Microsoft.
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